doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
