i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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