The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
