hotel room ftw
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
