No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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