Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
