Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
