we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
