Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
