I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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