I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
