do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
