I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
