kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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