You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we made out on top of his cat.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
