We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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