I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
