we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
