as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
