Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I supernannyed him into submission
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
