shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just had sex on a roof
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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