yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
