Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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