I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
