I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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