How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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