i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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