her facebook's as public as her vagina
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
