Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
