I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
