So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
