Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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