Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
