He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
