I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
