Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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