Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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