listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
