I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
