Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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