Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry macdaddy101112 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(931): View more from Tennessee

I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes

Fav 17 1207 2222
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.

Fav 27 3314 1335
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?

Fav 15 6229 1171
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

Fav 10 1669 3165
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year

Fav 7 2089 1081
share tweet
(339): View more from Massachusetts

My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.

Fav 11 4985 1448
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz

Fav 4 2496 1380
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.

Fav 5 740 543
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"

Fav 0 26 64
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT