i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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