If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
