Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
