im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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