i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
