I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
