he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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