she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
