Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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